so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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