Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
