I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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