i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
