Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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