Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
