I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize