living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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