Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
