Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
