you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
