24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
