Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize