On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
