:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
