Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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