She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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