Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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