She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
