This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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