i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
