whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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