So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
