FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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