You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
