He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
