Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
