Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize