Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
