just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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