There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
