Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
