I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
