Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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