Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
