this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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