sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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