I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
