Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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