No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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