that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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