omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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