Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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