Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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