This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I met the friendliest cop last night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
