so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I will be naked everywhere
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
