Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
