so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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