okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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