They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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