I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pappa wants mamma naked
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
