I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
