Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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