Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
