She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize