? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
