yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
should my penis look like a turkey
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
