I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
