I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
