I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
