so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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