I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
