I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
