Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
