the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So here I am, sexting at work.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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