Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
