So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
