Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
