but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
