Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
