We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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