Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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