i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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