If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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