she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize