I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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