Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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