We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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