I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
