ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
