this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize