My hand turned me down
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
