So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
